THE GOLD OLD IRISH TABLE QUIZ IS DEAD

Yes, I said it. I went to a table quiz on Friday, expecting a bit of playful competition, some banter with my mates and a few pints of fine alcohol, but instead of getting p***ed I got p***ed off.
As the night flew on and the pints increased, instead of getting tipsy and falling out of my seat as the night progressed, I didn't get drunk, I got annoyed.

Why? because at the quiz, which was for teams of four, I noticed the table across from us had, wait for it...........9 people. I mean come on. Now normally I do not mind when it is 9 idiots who came together and scrape 30 points out of a possible 80 between them as that is harmless but what does really grind my gears is when a table of 9 win the bloody thing.

Not only that, but they cheated the whole way through as they were friendly with the ever important 'Sheet Collector.'

Now that is a job that has declined in importance over the years. Back in my day at the Credit Union quizzes, the person collected the sheet wouldn't budge an inch.

In fact, you could have the whole Irish Rugby team trying to budge him or her for an answer and they would stand firm.

They would rather let Hannibal Lecter literally pick their brains rather than give an answer to someone struggling for one. (like what I did there)

But it seems, anyone is pushed forward for that role these days and the worst is when you have a motormouth collecting the sheets. Complement her on her dress and you will get answers 5&8. Ask her did she lose weight and you gets answers 4&6, give her one of the free sandwiches and you get answers 3&7.

And if it's a bloke collecting the sheets, get a female member of your team to shameless flirt with him for an answer and you will get whatever you want.

It's just all gone downhill and that is exactly what happened at this quiz at the weekend. Table of 9, every time, whined and dined the sheet collector en route to their prize. And what happened, I went home raging, when table of nine went home with a box of wine. Shafted.

Fringe: Will they or won't they?

I watch Fringe every week on TV3. To be honest, it is one of the only programmes I sit down to watch every week, considering my hectic journo lifestyle as you can imagine.

It's flipping quality programming but there is one underlying thing that bugs me every week and that is the sexual tension between the main two characters, Olivia Dunham and Peter Bishop.

Every week, they end up in a situation which calls for a little bit of moral support from one or the other, either in the form of a hug, a touch, or a nudge, but so far, no tender loving kisses have been exchanged.
Obviously, Joshua Jackson who plays Peter Bishop used to be Pacey out of Dawson's Creek (and he certainly got around the whole creek) so maybe he wants to play a new character that thinks with his big head rather than his little head, but what is the story with the Olivia Dunham character. She's lost her fiance weeks ago and has still not got over him by rolling around with Peter yet. The dilemma is just as strange as the problems they solve.
I'm just wondering though, if they do hit the sack together, will this eliminate all the palpable tension on the show and cause it to pure muck. I hope not.

A tale of two

It seem's the hottest couple in the music industry have split are about to split.
Chris Brown, who may well be the biggest idiot in the world apparently laid down a beating to Rihanna instead of some TLC.
Now why the hell would you do that, especially since the word is on the streets of Dundalk, that she was not cheating, but he was flirting with other women.
Now surely, she should have beat him, not the other way around.

Just a small question, but do you think after this ordeal that Chris' new single will be a remix of Prodigy's Smack My Bitch Up? or Beat It by Michael Jackson? I doubt it, and think it will be more like, a remix of American Idiot by Greenday.

As for Rihanna, I mean what was he thinking

battering her? I mean seriously Chris, you
must be a goon.

Look at this picture, you wouldn't kick her out of bed for getting crumbs all over the place now would you?

Gerry Ryan - Hypocrite

You want to know who really grinds my gears?
Gerry Ryan.
I am throwing this out there, but I think, the man is a hypocrite, pure and simple. Look up the word hypocrite in a dictionary and it says this;

1: “a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.”

2: “a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.”

3: Gerry Ryan

Now looking back at the first definition, here we have Gerry, the common man, the man of the people, the man who wants to take all the viciousness out of society and replace it all with good will, a man who tries to portray himself as a radio God, a saviour to his listeners when in fact, he is the biggest caricature I have ever seen.

If people ring him up with problems, he pretends to the ever caring ear, listening to the voice of the suppressed, but seriously, I mean, come on.
He sits there, probably in a luxurious office chair that cost a week's wages of an average man, pretending he has all the answers to life, when in reality he doesn't give a toss, because when his three hours are up, it's home time.

If he is the voice of the common man and the voice of reason to the people of Ireland, then we're all screwed.

Definition number 2: Isn't Mr Ryan one of last presenters to voluntarily take this pay cut. The man makes €600,000 a year and thinks he is worth it. I've never heard the likes of it. The man stands on TV on a Thursday night, expressing disappointment and lambasting people on Operation Transformation for not losing weight when in fact, he could be doing with losing a few pounds.

He does not want to have his salary cut, so instead of doing what most of the other presenters are doing, he would rather keep his salary rather than see a junior level camera man be sacked. Nice bloke and when that camera man rings into his show to complain, I am sure Gerry will have a sympathetic ear. Hypocrite.

Witness the crime of Oxegen

What is the story with Oxegen this year?What was once a respected festival, full or Rock n'Roll has sold out it seems for safety first and reunion crap.

What is the story is the absolutely muck line-up? I logged onto the site the other day expecting a line up that was sprinkled with magic dust, but instead got a line up that reeks of....well you know.

I mean Kings of Leon, for the second time in a row? And the Killers, for the second time in three years? The same Killers that played to around 40,000 at Marley Park in August and did not play that well it must be said and the same Kings of Leon that played the O2 and the Odyssey before Christmas.

Yes, so instead of getting a new headline band or someone fresh, Oxegen promoters have gone for the usual old safe option. If Oxegen could bottle up their contraceptive ways, they would make a fortune and put durex out of business as this is the umpteenth time they have played it safe with 80,000 people.

Do they care? No, because it will sell bucket loads of tickets to their target audience of young teens looking for a slab of 'Dutch Gold and a fumble in a tent' , boggers from the south of country who love nothing more than to kick footballs around the campsite at 8am and see a band or two, and the odd music fan amongst the 80,000.

Have you ever been slapped with a fish in the face? I have and that's how I felt when I read the line-up. It was like waking up on Christmas Day only to find your mother kissing a dodgy neighbour rather than Santa Claus.

Add to the occasion Katy Perry. If she is supposed to be the candy, then it seems the organisers made a balls up as let's face it, alone in your tent at night in the shivering cold, you are not going to warm yourself up with the thoughts of seeing her.

Maybe Beyonce yes, but not Miss Perry. Let's face it, she's a tad annoying, (not great looking) and so far has about two songs, yet she's is one of the first names announced for Oxegen. There's hope for us all then.

But then organisers announced the big bang name for the festival with Blur? Ah, seems we have stepped into a time warp and it's 1997 again as Oasis are headlining Slane and Blur are doing Oxegen and everyone is 'mad fer it.' Jolly Good, except Blur did have some bloody rubbish out when they were a full time band, (13 anyone?) so let's hope they dust off their greatest hits only for this return then.

What Grinds my Gears!

Every week, I will tell you about something which grinds my gears. Still on the subject of Oxegen, this week's category is 'Jersey Hookers'.

This term describes woman who wear GAA jerseys belonging to men they have slept with or have been with. In the morning time, after necking cider and aftershocks all night and after taking the county's number 23 all the way to space mountain, these jersey hookers wake up, raid the bloke's wardrobe of his beloved GAA jersey and then proceed to walk around in it for about three months, until they have to wash it.

Now girls who wear the the jersey of their county, or a jersey of a family member etc is fine and dandy as there are doing the right thing, but there is a culture out there of jersey hookers and funnily enough, when they bag a victim, it never seems to be a member of the first 15. It's always a sub, so it must tell you about the standards of the girls or the boys, I don't know which.

What's this got to do with Oxegen? Everything, because at Oxegen every year, you can expect to see a couple of dirty looking girls walking around with a jersey slightly too big for them, with a number ranging from 16 upwards on their back.