THE GOLD OLD IRISH TABLE QUIZ IS DEAD

Yes, I said it. I went to a table quiz on Friday, expecting a bit of playful competition, some banter with my mates and a few pints of fine alcohol, but instead of getting p***ed I got p***ed off.
As the night flew on and the pints increased, instead of getting tipsy and falling out of my seat as the night progressed, I didn't get drunk, I got annoyed.

Why? because at the quiz, which was for teams of four, I noticed the table across from us had, wait for it...........9 people. I mean come on. Now normally I do not mind when it is 9 idiots who came together and scrape 30 points out of a possible 80 between them as that is harmless but what does really grind my gears is when a table of 9 win the bloody thing.

Not only that, but they cheated the whole way through as they were friendly with the ever important 'Sheet Collector.'

Now that is a job that has declined in importance over the years. Back in my day at the Credit Union quizzes, the person collected the sheet wouldn't budge an inch.

In fact, you could have the whole Irish Rugby team trying to budge him or her for an answer and they would stand firm.

They would rather let Hannibal Lecter literally pick their brains rather than give an answer to someone struggling for one. (like what I did there)

But it seems, anyone is pushed forward for that role these days and the worst is when you have a motormouth collecting the sheets. Complement her on her dress and you will get answers 5&8. Ask her did she lose weight and you gets answers 4&6, give her one of the free sandwiches and you get answers 3&7.

And if it's a bloke collecting the sheets, get a female member of your team to shameless flirt with him for an answer and you will get whatever you want.

It's just all gone downhill and that is exactly what happened at this quiz at the weekend. Table of 9, every time, whined and dined the sheet collector en route to their prize. And what happened, I went home raging, when table of nine went home with a box of wine. Shafted.