Witness the crime of Oxegen

What is the story with Oxegen this year?What was once a respected festival, full or Rock n'Roll has sold out it seems for safety first and reunion crap.

What is the story is the absolutely muck line-up? I logged onto the site the other day expecting a line up that was sprinkled with magic dust, but instead got a line up that reeks of....well you know.

I mean Kings of Leon, for the second time in a row? And the Killers, for the second time in three years? The same Killers that played to around 40,000 at Marley Park in August and did not play that well it must be said and the same Kings of Leon that played the O2 and the Odyssey before Christmas.

Yes, so instead of getting a new headline band or someone fresh, Oxegen promoters have gone for the usual old safe option. If Oxegen could bottle up their contraceptive ways, they would make a fortune and put durex out of business as this is the umpteenth time they have played it safe with 80,000 people.

Do they care? No, because it will sell bucket loads of tickets to their target audience of young teens looking for a slab of 'Dutch Gold and a fumble in a tent' , boggers from the south of country who love nothing more than to kick footballs around the campsite at 8am and see a band or two, and the odd music fan amongst the 80,000.

Have you ever been slapped with a fish in the face? I have and that's how I felt when I read the line-up. It was like waking up on Christmas Day only to find your mother kissing a dodgy neighbour rather than Santa Claus.

Add to the occasion Katy Perry. If she is supposed to be the candy, then it seems the organisers made a balls up as let's face it, alone in your tent at night in the shivering cold, you are not going to warm yourself up with the thoughts of seeing her.

Maybe Beyonce yes, but not Miss Perry. Let's face it, she's a tad annoying, (not great looking) and so far has about two songs, yet she's is one of the first names announced for Oxegen. There's hope for us all then.

But then organisers announced the big bang name for the festival with Blur? Ah, seems we have stepped into a time warp and it's 1997 again as Oasis are headlining Slane and Blur are doing Oxegen and everyone is 'mad fer it.' Jolly Good, except Blur did have some bloody rubbish out when they were a full time band, (13 anyone?) so let's hope they dust off their greatest hits only for this return then.

What Grinds my Gears!

Every week, I will tell you about something which grinds my gears. Still on the subject of Oxegen, this week's category is 'Jersey Hookers'.

This term describes woman who wear GAA jerseys belonging to men they have slept with or have been with. In the morning time, after necking cider and aftershocks all night and after taking the county's number 23 all the way to space mountain, these jersey hookers wake up, raid the bloke's wardrobe of his beloved GAA jersey and then proceed to walk around in it for about three months, until they have to wash it.

Now girls who wear the the jersey of their county, or a jersey of a family member etc is fine and dandy as there are doing the right thing, but there is a culture out there of jersey hookers and funnily enough, when they bag a victim, it never seems to be a member of the first 15. It's always a sub, so it must tell you about the standards of the girls or the boys, I don't know which.

What's this got to do with Oxegen? Everything, because at Oxegen every year, you can expect to see a couple of dirty looking girls walking around with a jersey slightly too big for them, with a number ranging from 16 upwards on their back.